Twilight melted away, colours spread across the sky, red orange glow seeping over the horizon as if the light itself was being poured from the molten sun. The lines of glares that shot on my eyelids awaked me.
I have been waiting for this morning for so long that I barely believed my eyes when the shadow of that castle of my own fear starts to fade diluted by the onset of daylight.
I was engrossed in the web of my own thoughts when I heard a shrill sound of a gentle knock at my door, and I leap out of my bed faster than a gusty wind from a window. I opened the door and it was mom standing with the mix expression of excitement and fear before I could have said anything she spoke,”Avanti, your dad and me are waiting for you downstairs yours results are going to be out any next moment. Come fast.”and she left leaving me in sigh.
It takes me half an hour to dress up in my favorite black denims and blue top. I instantly took my phone; my fingers hurriedly dialled the number to which my heart automatically smiled.
I heard a voice from the other end,”Hello! , without giving him much time I explode all my excitement and nervousness in the drop of second,”Aryan, I am so excited. Finally your dream is going to be fulfil soon. I am sure you are going to rock this too.” To which he replied sternly “Dont forget that it is your result too.” The only thing I was able to do next was wish him luck and hung up the call.
Just few words and I pushed back in the memory lane of my own thoughts. Once again the irony of the suitation hits me back. I was ready to give in everything and taking nothing. I was overpowering yet submissive. I was nervous yet confident. I was curious yet naive. But not for me but for my best friend, may be he is more than friend for me; Aryan whose life depends on this single result like if he will not clear this JEE MAINS then we will love him any lesser or will doubt his capabilities.
Life is a chaos; see how it all depends upon a single click; pass or fail. The next amusing thing is that these results started deciding our life spans too, if you have passed then you are granted with some more years of your existence if not then you can finish up your own life. This is what we get to see in the news channels after the boards and engineering or medical entrances every year, are’nt we? I chuckled at my own thoughts.
Though I am also one of those thousand who has given this engineering entrance but still there is a huge difference between me and them like here its my parent’s wish not mine. For me it’s hardly matter if I will be an engineer or a teacher who will teach not only engineers but many lawyers and doctors too.
While thinking this I walked down and stood beside my dad who was busy taking out some print out, occasionally rubbing his knuckles the only thing that was frequent throughout was a frown and a slightest smile on his face. The time I stood beside him, he immediately wrapped me in his arms. The sight was quiet familiar and the feeling was bliss. ” I am proud of you Avanti”,he said and his lips lingered down at my forehead. While mom joined us making it a perfect family moment.
Yes, I have cleared this entrance but the next thing that strikes my mind was Aryan, what about him? I was about to move towards his house when my phone started ringing, caller ID shows Aryan’s mom, I immediately picked up the call only to hear the worst I could ever dreamt of. “Avanti, are you listening? Tell me Aryan is with you or not. After the result he hasn’t shown me up. He hasn’t cleared. Avanti….”
I kept the phone down and took long steady steps just to reach his house. When I moved out soon there were different colors endorsing the environment with the traffic noises, the smell from the other residents of making coffee and toast was lingering in the air. Within next 15 min I was standing knocking on his door which was seeming like the most meaningless job at that moment.
His mom opened the door with a slightest hope that it might be Aryan; assured her and I went straight to his room. Nobody knows him better than me; in these seven years of our friendship at least I am aware of his habit of writing about everything in his diary before doing or going anywhere.
I entered his room; I can see the chaos that his room was, the dark ragged clothes and brochures of some colleges on his dresser and that tall lamp. The newspaper was lying on the table along with his diary. When my eyes were sparkling with the hope..at the same time his words started echoing in my ears that sweep down the ground under my feet.
I took my steps back and started running, my feet started moving in the direction that doesn’t require any guidance. The air around me is filled with floating atoms, sliding down the curve of the tension that my mind was holding. I was moving faster than a gun,faster than a rat that is going to be trapped any next moment. I reached there, but I stumbled upon my own steps and fell to the ground. The memories got up so as me and stared into his eyes menacingly. I chocked and fought to breathe. I tried and failed to scream.
I hold myself stronger than ever just to reach to him. I did but the next moment there was a hard sound that accompanies us. With all my power I slapped him hard and because of that sudden action and shock , the pills he was holding scattered all over the surface. Little time before I was mocking down the students who finished their lives because of this stupid result not knowing the fact that Aryan will try to do the same.
Does he love engineering or any institution much more than us? Don’t we hold the slightest place in his life that made him think twice before trying to do any such thing?
My voice was screwed down my throat and I was not in the state to hold that sight anymore.
Before I could move I felt a tug on my wrist, I don’t need to turn around to know the owner of that touch, I know it was him.
I reluctantly turned back and the words themselves found their way out, “I was not aware that you are the weekest person I ever known.”
“Then you are highly mistaken it takes huge courage to finish off your own life. You must have to say I am the strongest in your known list”, he replied in a slow tone.
Really he still expecting me to praise his act of consolation. Almost an hour I wasted standing there, I wasted time thinking, I wasted time being quiet and not saying anything because I was afraid, I ‘ll be shutter.
” I Know…I know one more thing that it takes million times more courage and billion times more efforts to live your life accepting it’s miseries, welcoming it’s acceptance flaunting with it’s rejection. The only thing that we need to learn is that every closed door is the way to the next open door.”, I said.
“Not everytime we think like that. It hurts. Broken dreams stabbed the heart more dangerously than any sharp knife. You already knew that it was my dream for which I was living every minute.”, He said while sitting on the bench.
“If you have hertbeat you still have time for your dreams. Dreams are alive until you are. Its not after you, but its always with you.”, I said in a calming tone.
” I don’t love my life anymore.”, He said.
“Even the rose has thorns; it hurt many people many times. Still neither of them stop loving it nor it has stopped scattering it’s fragrance. So as life is, though it troubles you but that doesn’t mean you stop loving it. You know what why we keep our jewels in boxes or lockers?”, I asked.
“Of course as they are very precious we can’t afford to lose them.” Before he could complete I interupted and said,”Exactly! So how do you afford to lose the most precious jewel that is your life. If not for yourself think about the people who love you the most.”
With great remorse in his voice he muttered,”I am sorry for what I had done , for what I was going to do. I am sorry.”
The next moment I hugged him taking all the hurt and giving away just love. Sometimes in life we need a simple hug…no words, no advice ,just a hug to make everything right.
We kept standing under the gentle spring sun its rays warm our skin, like warm kisses from the divine. The nascent leaves have that soft green essence and the ground is scattered with vivid blooms whose petals dance in the breeze. We stood in the cold with the blanket of our dreams not feeling the weight of destiny or immense burden of our own expectations.
The day was as assured as the tides and just an unstoppable. He needs few hours of blackness. Not to sleep but to prepare to pour out those thoughts out,to reorganize prioritize and pack them back again. Just to value this beautiful jewel that is life.
Hey! Cuteheart hope you are doing well. Long time,I Will surely catch up with you all pretty soon.
Just wrote this piece few days back and for change won second price in short story competition. So Thought to share with you all!